With a diabetic’s desire for sugar, I’ve rummaged through M’s candy store in search of a handmade designer lolly. Rather despondently, all I found was your corner milk bar variety of sweets, mass-produced by some outsourced company with a star’s branding stuck on it.

Hard Candy is more about Timbaland, Danja and The Neptunes, the sound of their pet favourites Britney, Gwen and Nelly, and of course JT, who appears on not one, not two, or even three, but four of these tracks. With the first half of the album all sticky and sweet, the hardness soon goes soft - like anything that’s been sucked on for too long. If too many cooks spoil the broth, M needs to take back creative control from these rascals and get nasty in her much loved (and missed) way.

But I am loving the teenspeak disco bubbles of ‘Give It 2 Me’.

2.5/5

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